Vol. 10, No. 1• November 2005

When I become a foster parent . . .
More letters from children

The letters you find here were submitted in response to the writing contest in volume 9, number 2 of Fostering Perspectives, which asked the question: If you were a foster parent, what would you do to help the children living in your home? These children received a letter of congratulations for having their letters published in the online version of the newsletter. In some cases the names of the children and others mentioned in their letters have been changed to protect their confidentiality.

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If I was a foster parent what I will do to help the children living in my home is to talk to them first to make sure they are alright living here and then I can take them to go shopping to get stuff off their mind. If that don’t help we can go to the movies or play a little game. Make sure they get their homework done before they watch television or play outside with their friends because school work comes first. And take good care of she/he and be a nice foster parent because I love kids. When I get grown up I might be a foster parent. If y’all have trouble with some of ya’ll foster kids just come over to my house. I can watch them. If you or your wife have to go anywhere, like on a vacation of something like that.

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Regional, age 15

If I was a foster parent I would help the children by loving them, doing what is right for them, taking care of them, giving them what they need, and teaching them how to better themselves so that they can grow up to be good men and women.

The children who live . . . will have plenty of food to eat and they would not have to steal clothes because they will have tons of clothes because I will have three jobs so that I can support them. What I am trying to say is that my foster home would not be on the news because a child is not being taken care of because I do not believe in hurting children.

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Ebony, age 13

If I was a foster parent something I would do to help my foster child would be to tell them that they can talk to me about anything. I would also tell them that I would never do anything to hurt them physically and mentally. That way they would be able to trust me because they have to trust me to be able to feel safe in my home. Another thing I would do would be to comfort them and tell them that I love them. I would tell them to always come to me when they have a problem with me or others, so I could help them solve it. Since a foster child doesn’t live with their real parents, the foster parents should make the child feel loved and cared for. That would be the first thing I would do.

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Angel, age 14

If I was a foster parent I would let the child take as much time as they needed to talk to me. I would make the rules according to their situation, and their age. Also I would make sure that the child or children would be able to do some of the things they like to do. I know how hard it is to talk to someone about your problems when you barely know them. When the person is ready to talk I would be as understanding as I could, and give them positive feedback. All negative feedback would do is make the person feel worse about themselves. Different children have different problems, and situations so the only fair thing to do is make rules according to the person. I would bring them to the places they need to be and keep them updated with their case. I believe that a child should continue to do positive activities to keep from getting into trouble. To me a person is a person and no matter who they are I would accept them, because you can’t change a person unless they want to change themselves. That’s what I would do to help the children living in my home, because I know how hard it is to be brought into another home with new rules and a new family.

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Malinda, age 15

Hello, my name is Malinda. I am 15 and I will tell you a few things. To start off I am in a group home now, and I got here because my mother and stepfather was abusive towards each other, and on drugs badly. I had left my father and stepmother’s house because I felt she was very jealous of me. And I believe a child should never have to live like that. I believe they should always get an equal amount of love and respect as long as they give it back to the parents. I also believe a child should never have to go through abusive, drug, and alcoholic homes.

I have been reading Dave Pelzer’s books on how his mother abused him and his brothers so badly. I feel like I wish I could be there to help them, even though they go help eventually.

I used to think I would not amount to anything ever, and that I would always have a very bad side in criminal activities. I also believed I was not loved, and that if someone did love me and I showed them love or began to love them, then something would go wrong. I now believe that I will amount to something, and can love a person. And that is all because I think if Dave Pelzer and his brothers can do it, then anyone who tries can do it.

So I would love to treat the children that I adopt with so much love, and make them so very happy. I would also do my best to make them feel that they actually have a home. I will do my best to let them have freedom, but I would not let them do anything to hurt themselves or others. They could not do drugs, drink, or do criminal activities. I know children and teenagers need to have fun in their lives, and like to experiment with things. But hopefully they will not need to do that, because I will tell them all about my situations and the things that came out of it. And if they ever needed to talk to someone about anything, then I would get them a therapist, or if they just wanted to talk to me I would take all the time they needed out of my busy schedule. I would probably spoil them, but not too much. So that is how I would treat the children—with as much love as possible.

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Keith, age 13

I would treat foster children in my home with respect. I would give them full attention. If I was talking with someone I would stop to see what they want and listen to them. I would give them clean clothes and put food in front of them. I would play with them. I would not spank them or hit them. I would help them with their homework or anything else they need help with. I would treat the foster children in my home with all of my love.

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By Sean

If I had a foster child living in my house I would treat him or her like they was my real child. I will feed them, respect them, love them, and provide for them. Then I will put them into bed at a good, nice time. I will expect them to go to school looking nice. I will try to give them the bestest holidays ever. Give them time to hang out with their friends. Let them sometimes pick out what they want. I will try to make them feel welcome, and try to make it seem like home sweet home. I will try to lift their spirits when they are feeling like the world’s on their shoulder.

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Samantha, age 15

. . . I would tell them if they ever needed to talk about anything I am always here. I would also tell them that I would love them as one of my own. I will also look at them children as my children, not foster children.


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Chadisey, age 8

If I were a foster parent, I would take the children to Fun Adventure. I would let them play games and get tickets for prizes.

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Andrea, age 5

If I were a foster parent, I would help the children by cooking for them and helping them clean up. I would take them to the park and play with them.

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Ashton, age 6

If I were a foster parent, I would play with the children. I would tuck them in bed at night.

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Lucas, age 6

If I were a foster parent I would feed them. I would give them a bed to sleep in.

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Maggie, age 6

If I were a foster parent I would feed them and give them a good bed.

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Alyssa, age 7

If I were a foster parent, I would give my foster child good things to eat, a warm bed to sleep in, and friends to play with.

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Joseph, age 6

If I were a foster parent, I would give them some water and clothes.

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Tyler , age 7

I would help my kid with her homework and when she is finished I would go outside and play with her. I would make her something good to eat. I would read a bed time story and put her to bed.

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Drawing by Winter

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Nikki , age 6

If I were a foster parent I would take them to Pine Bridge. We would swim, skate, and play basketball.

Copyright 2005 Jordan Institute for Families