Vol. 19, No. 1 • November 2014

My Transition to Adulthood
What aging out of foster care was like for me

by La'Sharron Davidson

From age 3 months to age 15 I was raised by family members. At 16 I entered foster care. I "aged out" two years later, when I turned 18. Today I'm 22. Here's what aging out of care has been like for me.

No CARS for Me
I didn't sign a CARS Agreement (Contractual Agreement for Continuing Residential Support), even though this would have allowed me to remain in a foster or group home while I went to school (or until I turned 21).

Why not? Because I was fed up with social workers, my guardian ad litem (GAL), and not having freedom. I was just done with the system.

Turning 18
Transitioning out of care wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. What do I mean? When you're getting close to your 18th birthday you're thinking, "This is going to be the best day ever. I'm GROWN!"

I was so ready for the day to come. Finally it arrived. I was RELEASED! I was free from being in a tiny hole that kept me away from family, friends, employment, and my freedom. You see, during my time in care I was never hugged, never kissed or tickled. I never did fun things a kid would do like going roller skating or going to the park with family and friends.

Grandmother's House
When I left foster care my social worker placed me into my grandmother's home. I had lived with her before. She did her best to raise me, but my grandmother had troubles of her own.

My grandmother had always struggled to care for me. We had disagreements about anything and everything; even about small things, like a piece of chicken that wasn't cooked right. So when I was placed back with her at 18, I decided to move out ASAP.

Trying to Get a Place of My Own
I was released from the system with no resources or guidance to help me get out on my own. But I've always had a drive to do better and strive for the best. So I did some networking. I called people I knew from being in the system and asked them questions about how to get my own place and where I could go.

Based on what they told me, I did more research to see what some of the programs were like. Finally, I got my own place.

Getting Put Out
My next problem was, I didn't know the up-and-downs of paying bills. I was never taught! At that point I worked at the fast food restaurant where I'd worked since I was 15. Back then I thought I was working for a million bucks. Looking back, I realize fast food didn't pay a lot.

To sum it all up, I couldn't afford to live in an apartment that cost $565 a month plus utilities and other bills. So I got put out of my home and went back to ground zero: living with my grandmother.

Again, we had our differences, and this time she put me out! I had nowhere to go.

Sleeping in My Car
I forgot to mention I bought a car. I got it from a "buy here, pay here" place, which means they take your money! This was a bad mistake.

The day my grandmother put me out, I slept in my car. I was determined not to ask her for anything. I went from house to house, living with friends and family.

How I Survived
How did I survive? By having goals and wanting more than what's expected of me. I always communicated with others. I was willing to face my mistakes and learn from them.

Today and Tomorrow
Today I am very happy to be working with SaySo and my local United Way.

But I still have worries and challenges. I wake up every morning thinking, "What's next?" Not in an excited way, but in a wondering-what's-going-to-hit-me-next way.

I've lived a life of uncertainty. I think I'm making progress, then something happens and I feel like I'm starting over again.

I am proud of how far I've come, and I want you to see the possibilities too.

La'Sharron Davidson is a Regional Assistant for SaySo, a United Way Youth Director, and a Fostering Youth Opportunities & Community Engagement Fellow.

~ Family and Children's Resource Program, UNC-CH School of Social Work ~