Vol. 5, No. 2 • May 2001
Conference helps foster children decide for themselves
by Michelle Johnson, from the Winston Salem JournalJAMESTOWN—Foster children don't often get to make their own decisions, but one group yesterday encouraged them to handle matters by themselves.
SaySo Saturday, the annual conference of a statewide group called Strong Able Youth Speaking Out, brings together children dealing with the foster-care system and gives them a chance to talk about their experiences and push for changes.
The group started three years ago with a grant from the Kellogg Foundation and is now paid for with state money.
"These kids, if they don't get the opportunity to make decisions, they'll make poor decisions later," said Nancy Carter, the program director for SaySo. "This is a way to give them back their decision-making power." About 100 foster children from around the state attended the conference at Guilford Technical Community College in Jamestown. They learned about public speaking, effective advocacy, and the services available to them when they age out of the system. There are 11,000 foster children in North Carolina. About 2,200 of them are between the ages of 14 and 21.
The children run the conference, a key to making them feel more confident. Many foster children feel powerless because they have been shuffled from home to home during their childhoods.
"Adults are automatically seen as the enemy," said Jen Painter, a SaySo board member from Durham. Painter, a 20-year-old sophomore at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, was placed in a teen crisis center at 16 after a long period of being neglected. She felt that she didn't fit in with the children at the home, who were sometimes more rebellious.
"I was a straight-A student. I never even got detention in high school," she said.
When she began failing, Painter asked all of her teachers to come to the guidance counselor's office, where she explained what was happening to her and promised to make up her work. She graduated fifth in her class and won a scholarship that pays the full cost of her college education.
"I probably wouldn't be at Carolina; I probably wouldn't have graduated if I hadn't had to advocate for myself. I don't care whose face I have to get in. Don't let anybody tell you (that you) have to give up," Painter said during a workshop titled "How to be an Advocate."
"Nobody out there is looking out for you the way you're looking out for yourself."
Painter and the other SaySo board members are devoted to helping foster children survive in the system.
"As adults we can advocate for them, but it's not going to be half as powerful as they are for themselves," said Joanne Scaturo, a SaySo adult advocate who is also a staff-development consultant for the N.C. Division of Social Services.
As Scaturo came into the school cafeteria, Bernard Marton reached out to hug her.
"This is my mom," he said.
Marton, a slight young man with tight braids and a quick smile, is also a SaySo board member. He went into foster care at age 7. At first, he stayed with a neighbor. When that fell through, he went to stay with his aunt.
"That didn't last long because I was one of the baddest kids—stealing and stuff," Marton said. For a time, Marton was moved to a different place every few days because of his attitude problems. At 18, he is getting ready to leave the system.
Little of that old angry self is present these days, and Marton credits his involvement in SaySo.
"You've changed a lot in the last year," Painter told him.
At first, Marton told his friends that he was just getting involved in SaySo to get out of his group home, but he says now that there's more to it.
"You've got to be dedicated," Marton told the group. "I missed dances, I missed proms so I could come to meetings. People want to hear what you have to say. Don't be afraid to tell where you come from."
By Michelle Johnson Winston-Salem Journal reporter. Copyright 2001 Winston-Salem Journal. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
Copyright � 2001 Jordan Institute for Families
