Vol. 12, No. 2 • June 2008

 

Interviewing Our Foster and Adoptive Parents

In the last issue of Fostering Perspectives we asked young people to interview their foster or adoptive parent about why they chose to be a foster or adoptive parent and what it’s like to be one. Here are the top three responses.
—John McMahon, Editor

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First Place

Tyrone, age 11

I interviewed my 80-year-old grandmother. She lives in Monroe, Louisiana and was not greatly affected by Hurricane Katrina. She only lost some vinyl siding and shingles off her house. She was very grateful it was not worse. For twenty years she provided safety, housing, and love to over 83 foster children. Upon her relocation from New Hampshire to Louisiana, she was informed by the state that she was too old to be a foster parent. The news broke her heart.

When my grandmother retired from working, she was bored. It was then that she decided to be a foster parent, “I wanted to fill a void in a child’s life.” She started with a kinship program taking care of family members. Many of the children called her “Mom.” She was the only mother many of them knew. Even today she is still considered family because they love her.

She does not have any regrets. “I always put my best foot forward,” my Nana says. Many times, people think that being a foster parent is unique, but my grandmother does not feel unique because she says, “I am the same person I was before.”

It has been an enjoyable experience for her “because I love children.” Her most memorable moment was when she took in a bi-racial girl who did not want to live with her. In the end, they became very close and still see one another today. Her greatest joy is that her oldest son now has two adopted sons and I am one of them.

Tyrone’s letter won first prize, for which he was awarded $100.

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Second Place

Heather, age 12
Heather interviewed her adoptive parents.

How did you find out about foster/adoptive parenting? Why were you interested in it?
M: We found out by our babysitter, Regina. She is a foster parent. We had three boys and we wanted a girl.

Tell me about the foster parenting classes.
M: We inquired in September and started the next class in January. The classes took six weeks. Before our first class I was nervous. Our class had a lot of people in it. I’m quiet in groups of people that I don’t know.
D: I was nervous also.

How long was it before you got your first children?
M: We were licensed in April. In June two children came into our care. At first it was exciting and scary—we only knew a limited amount of the infomation about the children. The most nervous part was the 72 hr. meeting.
D: It was different staying up at night with a baby that you’re just meeting.

How did your kids react to the children you fostered?
M: The oldest [age 7] had mixed emotions. The middle child [age 4] was loving but possessive over his toys. The youngest [1 year] had no cares.

When did your first foster children leave? How did you feel?
M: They left three months after they came. I felt sad, but glad they went with their grandmother.
D: I was sad, but they went to a good home.

What made you decide to adopt your foster child?
M: She fit in our family. We knew when she was placed here it was an adoptive placement. After all the trials and learning to trust it all worked out.

How do you like fostering?
M: I like it, but it can be challenging at times. For example, before we adopted her, our daughter would try to get us to make her leave.

How long will you continue fostering?
M: We have five children. One of the five is still waiting to be adopted by us. After his adoption we’ll be done.

Who was the most helpful person you talked with about your foster and adoptive children?
M: Our social worker, Marcie. During the trying times she would put you in the child’s shoes and have you look at it from their view. She had our daughter (who we were going to adopt) write us a poem once the adoption was close. She also had our daughter write on the back of the adoption card, “I’m ready” with her adoptive name written on it. She also came to the adoption signing with us and took pictures.

What advice would you give other foster/adoptive families?
M: Talk to your social worker. Have an open mind. Put yourself in the child’s shoes. Know that there will be trying times.

Heather’s interview won second prize, for which she was awarded $50.

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Third Place

Ebony, age 15

Why did you choose to become a foster parent?
My mother and all her siblings were in foster care. When me and my siblings were little she would tell us about their terrible experience when they were in foster care. She would tell us how they worked on a farm and their foster parents beat them and they didn’t feed them. So my mother and her siblings had to steal food from the farm because they were not being fed. When she would tell us the story it really was upsetting to hear, so when I was 12 I told myself that I would become a foster parent and keep children from getting mistreated like my mother and her siblings did.

What is it like to be a foster parent?
It can be both difficult and rewarding. The difficult part is that at times you feel that no matter what you do it is never enough. Most foster children are afraid to open up because of what they have been through in their past and it can make you feel bad. However, the rewarding part is that being a foster parent makes you feel like you are giving foster children a better life than what they had before.

Ebony’s interview won thrid prize, for which she was awarded $25.

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