Vol. 14, No. 2 • May 2010

Books on the Nightstand

by Joe Burmester

If this book review sounds different, that’s because I’m not the normal Becky. This is her husband, Joe, also a foster parent (duh), but one who doesn’t read as many books on the subject as she does. In fact, Becky was surprised that I read this one, since my taste usually gravitates to thrillers, mysteries, and other escape-type writings. Perhaps my different perspective will cause you to read the following book. I hope so, because it will be worth your while!

Angry Management
This book, by Chris Crutcher, is really a collection of three stories, “novellas,” that are cleverly tied together as the stories of three young people, collected by their high school counselor. The common theme is that these three students are on the receiving end of other people’s anger, delivered in different ways and for different reasons. But when you are on the wrong end of anger, the impact can be devastating to your life, or at least cause dramatic changes to it, as these three stories show.

The stories are well written and worth reading in their own right. But they are particularly apropos to foster parents, because our children have frequently come into care with significant baggage. Often this baggage is the result of someone else’s anger, and may manifest itself in new anger through our foster child. The situations in which the children in Angry Management find themselves are typical of the children in our care: violence, prejudice, insecurity, pain. Reading these stories may make you angry, or cause you to question how other people can be so heartless as to create such an environment for their children. That’s a reasonable response, but not the point of the book.

How the children respond, and the response of others to their crises, is the key. These children have had terrible things happen to them, but they are not without hope. As foster parents, we have the opportunity to help the children in our care cope with the results of these and other traumatic situations. Even if we only provide a safe place for them, our impact on their lives can be the difference between hope fulfilled and hope crushed. It is that opportunity that keeps me going as a foster parent, even beyond the other positive aspects of parenting, and in spite of the frustrations.

Try this book. It will help you empathize with your foster children. A benefit of Crutcher’s approach in this book is that the three stories, though linked by a common theme, are stand alone stories. You can read them independently—each one is only about 70–90 pages long. But that won’t happen. Read one, and you’ll read them all.

Becky will probably be back in the next edition. She won’t want me to get too comfortable next to her pile of books. What’s on your night stand? Share what you are reading with her! You can reach her at 919/870-9968 or [email protected].

Copyright � 2010 Jordan Institute for Families