Vol. 18, No. 1 • November 2013

Foster Care Alumna and SaySo Member
Shares Her Story

La'Sharron Davidson, who shares her story below, has been SaySo's Program Assistant since February 2013. She's also been an active member of SaySo since 2009.

In spite of having to leave high school due to challenges related to being in foster care, La'Sharron persevered and graduated from high school with a 3.87 grade point average.

She has taken classes at Vance-Granville Community College, where she hopes to receive her Associate's Degree in Arts. Her academic goal is to receive her Bachelors in Social Work from UNC-Greensboro.

La'Sharron's favorite food is Italian Chicken Alfredo Pasta. Her favorite color is yellow, although she is also partial to pink. She enjoys shopping and is a very talented hair stylist. (I know this from personal experience!).

La'Sharron was a workshop presenter at the 2013 National Independent Living Conference in Orlando, Florida.

She has been upholding SaySo's motto of "Speaking out today while making changes for tomorrow" throughout her time in foster care and now as an alumna.

Below is La'Sharron's reflection on her journey through foster care.

For more information on SaySo, please visit our website (www.saysoinc.org). You can also find us on Facebook at "SaySo Speaks Out" and follow us on https://twitter.com/SAYSOINC

Lauren Zingraff is the Executive Director of the youth advocacy group SaySo.

Because I SaySo

by La'Sharron Davidson For me foster care wasn't just a placement: it was a place to let go of your anger, venting it on others you don't know. It was a place for losing trust and maybe even gaining trust! Foster care was a life lesson for me. When you are in foster care you never know what will happen next! Two Years, Two Placements When I entered care I was 16 years old. I aged out at 18. In the two years I was in care I had two placements. My first lasted a year. My relationship with this family was so-so. Although we had our ups and downs, this family taught me how to manage life, especially when it comes to listening to and abiding by the rules. They also helped me become more independent and mature. My second placement was at a group home. Now, when people hear "group home" they usually think it is the worst thing in the world. For me it was fun MOST OF THE TIME, though there were hardships. Living there taught me to be calm about any situations that cause conflict, and to ignore things that are irrelevant. My placements taught me things I can use in the long term. Overcoming Challenges One of the biggest challenges about being in foster care was that I wanted more freedom, especially a chance to be with friends and see my siblings. I've always have been the type of person that loves to be around friends and family; it makes me the happiest person in the world. In foster care I didn't have too much input about seeing friends and family. There were a lot of restrictions. There were also issues related to money and personal care. Personal care/hygiene is very important to me, but it costs money. Also, I have always loved to shop and buy certain things to fit in with my friends. However, in foster care I never had any allowance unless I worked. This is where I started to dislike the system. I didn't want to speak to anyone--not even my friends--and I just couldn't have my way. This is when the trust started to fall out of place. After a time, however, I figured out how to cooperate with others and let my feelings be free. Through a program called SaySo (Strong Able Youth Speaking Out) I talked with others that were in the same situation that I was. SaySo helped me get away from stress and have fun with my peers. Trust me, after being at SaySo events I never wanted to go home--it was that fun. Eventually I looked for a job and finally found one. My first was at a fast food restaurant (Burger King) working part time. After a while I became full-time. Aging Out Then I thought to myself, "I am getting ready age out of foster care." I didn't want to sign the CARS agreement (Contractual Agreement for Continuing Residential Support) with DSS, because I didn't want to stay in foster care. I realized I had to save money to get my own place and a car. My foster parent never gave me information on how to be independent, such as making doctor appointments, budgeting, etc. I had to learn a lot of things on my own. Supports to Help Me Succeed I finally came across an organization called O4SA (Opportunity For Supervised Apartments). This organization was built for youth that had been in care, to help them become independent and mature. When I aged out of foster care I went to this place and talked with the landlord and the workers for O4SA. Basically you had to have income coming in every month, no criminal background, and a good apartment history. This program was also taught you how to budget. And best of all, they helped you PAY RENT! I became close with the workers for the organization because they helped me along the way for about two years. But I never went to school--I hated school. Then I lost my job and had a bad attitude about a lot of things because of my situation. Then two ladies, Ann Tropiano and Kristen Van Ormer, became my mentors and changed my life. They pushed me to strive for the BEST in life. I never thought I would be in the position I'm in now. But thanks to their faith in me I am the Program Assistant for SaySo. Advice for Foster Parents The most important thing foster parents should know is that the youth in the foster care system didn't put themselves there--we didn't ask to be there. All we want from you is sympathy, love, and a MENTOR. Mentoring is the biggest factor. You never know what a youth has been through. Don't judge a book by its cover. Just like anyone else, we want to be loved!

~ Family and Children's Resource Program, UNC-CH School of Social Work ~