{"id":1105,"date":"2016-10-18T18:24:31","date_gmt":"2016-10-18T18:24:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1105"},"modified":"2017-05-13T15:03:00","modified_gmt":"2017-05-13T15:03:00","slug":"when-i-stumbled-i-discovered-my-strength","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1105","title":{"rendered":"When I Stumbled, I Discovered My Strength<\/br>A Youth in Care Reflects on Her Diabetes Journey"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Annahi, age 14<\/em><\/p>\n

My name is Jennifer, but I like to be called Annahi. I am 14 years old and I am diabetic and happy and proud to be. My life has been a struggle, but it has been the best it can be.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t regret the choices I made because that\u2019s what made me stronger and what made me the person I am today. Yes, I\u2019ve had ups and downs like any other teen, but at the end I know how to smile and move on.<\/p>\n

My favorite colors are turquoise, lime green, and peach. I am a teenager gone wild, and a kind and friendly person. I like to make new friends and socialize, but I also like to spend time with my family.<\/p>\n

Being diabetic doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t enjoy the world or go out and have fun. Yes, I stay strong and fight it and deal with it every day. I\u2019m thankful for my struggles because without them I wouldn\u2019t have stumbled across my strength.<\/p>\n

What follows is an excerpt from a paper I wrote called \u201cOne Battle, a Million Struggles.\u201d<\/p>\n

It Hasn\u2019t Been Easy<\/span><\/h6>\n

I was diagnosed with diabetes eight years ago [at age 6]. It has not been easy.<\/p>\n

Sometimes my blood sugar was good. Other days it would skyrocket, which means it was extremely high, like in a dangerous zone. Then I just couldn\u2019t deal with it anymore, so I started to eat anything I wanted.<\/p>\n

\"chips-quote\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t supposed to do that, but I did. I couldn\u2019t eat candy or any type of sweets, but I would anyway. Then it got to where I was getting tired of living the diabetic life, tired of taking medication every single day, so I would skip my doses. Other times I would just forget to take them.<\/p>\n

This made me feel so, so sick.<\/p>\n

The Emergency Room<\/span><\/h6>\n

I ended up in the hospital\u2014in the emergency room\u2014with DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis). [Diabetic ketoacidosis is a serious condition that can lead to diabetic coma or even death.<\/em>] It was horrible, but since I\u2019d made the wrong choice I had to deal with it.<\/p>\n

[The people in the hospital] helped me feel better so I would soon be able to go home, but not for long. I would be back and forth, going to the emergency room about every other month.<\/p>\n

I never really thought what could happen because of all of this.<\/p>\n

Two in the Hospital<\/span><\/h6>\n

My mom was expecting a baby. Close to her due date I ended up in the hospital again. While I was there my mom was admitted to labor and delivery. A few days later I was ready to go home but my mom wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

This was when the doctors decided to report our medical issues to DSS (the department of social services).<\/p>\n

DSS Gets Involved <\/span><\/h6>\n

That evening a well-dressed lady walked in with a big thick folder in her hand. We talked awhile, then she asked me if I knew anyone I would be willing to stay with while my mom was in the hospital.<\/p>\n

The only person that came to my head was a lady who went to my church. I gave her Ms. Julia\u2019s information. The next day I got out of the hospital and went to Ms. Julia\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

I felt pretty good being there\u2014she was a really nice lady and pretty cool.<\/p>\n

Later a social worker arrived saying I would be put into foster care. I didn\u2019t really know what she meant. I just knew I would be staying with Ms. Julia longer.<\/p>\n

Why Am I in Foster Care?<\/span><\/h6>\n

One day I decided to ask the social worker why they had put me into foster care. She told me that it was because I was having too many difficulties at home controlling my diabetes. Then I asked her when I could go home.<\/p>\n

She said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to upset you, but I honestly don\u2019t know. It might be a long time before you can go back.\u201d<\/p>\n

My face dropped and she kept talking.<\/p>\n

I told her, \u201cSTOP, that\u2019s enough! I don\u2019t want to know any more!\u201d<\/p>\n

From her shadow I saw her pulling her hair back, then take her hand and slowly reach out for mine. Meanwhile I was trying to hold my tears from falling. I pulled my hand away from hers as if I\u2019m telling her, \u201cDon\u2019t touch me!\u201d<\/p>\n

She gently put her hand on my chin, trying to lift up my head. I lifted it up and looked away from her.<\/p>\n

In a soft voice she said, \u201cDon\u2019t think I\u2019m the bad guy here or that I took you away from your family because I don\u2019t want you to be with them. If I took you away, it was because I want to help you and your family do what is right for you. We want you to be healthy and to grow up and be someone in life.\u201d<\/p>\n

In my head all she was saying was entering one ear and exiting through the other. I was ready for her to go.<\/p>\n

Be Strong<\/span><\/h6>\n

When she left, Ms. Julia came in the room. She looked at me as if she was going to drop some tears, too. I immediately looked away and started to cry.<\/p>\n

She started out by saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I know how you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUgh, it\u2019s OK,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n

But then I said, \u201cIt\u2019s all my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said, \u201cJenni, no! Don\u2019t say that. You just didn\u2019t think of the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook,\u201d she said, \u201cI know it\u2019s hard and you sure didn\u2019t expect all this to happen, but all I can really say is you need to try to be strong for your mom and your sisters.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201dOK, I\u2019m going to try.\u201d<\/p>\n

Months Pass<\/span><\/h6>\n

Months passed by and I started to get used to this whole different life. My mom started to take classes at the community college so she had to find a baby-sitter for my sister. She asked Ms. Julia and she agreed.<\/p>\n

So I got to see my baby sister when she was there, but not as often as I wanted it to be. But other than my yearning for my family, so far things were really good.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t having so much trouble with my diabetes.<\/p>\n

Tragedy<\/span><\/h6>\n

One day Annahi returns home from school to learn that her baby sister died in her sleep while in Ms. Julia\u2019s care. After the funeral Annahi is placed with Mary, a different foster parent. Eventually Annahi reunifies with her family, but once again her diabetes goes out of control. DSS places her back with Mary.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doing Great<\/span><\/h6>\n

[At Mary\u2019s house] I was happy and at the same time sad\u2014another whole different life again! But deep down I knew it was for the best. It would be hard, but my life would be better.<\/p>\n

So far I am doing great. Yes, Mary can be hard on me, but I\u2019ve learned it\u2019s always for a good reason. She\u2019s really a caring and loving person to me.<\/p>\n

I know she doesn\u2019t know this because I hardly say this or anything, but I love <\/em>her! She\u2019s my hero, the one who came into my life when I least expected it. The one that God put in my way for a reason.<\/p>\n

Thank You, God, for my life and all You\u2019ve done in it. I know we are all different and my story has a purpose that can impact the lives of others forever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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