{"id":1228,"date":"2017-05-10T19:49:24","date_gmt":"2017-05-10T19:49:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1228"},"modified":"2017-10-26T19:18:58","modified_gmt":"2017-10-26T19:18:58","slug":"a-healthy-relationship-in-my-life-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1228","title":{"rendered":"A healthy relationship in my life today<\/br>Perspectives from children and youth in foster care"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the last issue of Fostering Perspectives<\/em> we asked young people in foster care, \u201cDescribe a healthy relationship in your life today. How do you know it is healthy?\u201c Here\u2019s what they had to say.<\/p>\n

* * * * *<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

First Place<\/span><\/h5>\n

Dionna, age 16\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Healthy relationships contain: trust, loyalty, forgiveness, laughter, honesty, and unconditional love.<\/p>\n

I am thankful to have a healthy relationship with my dear friend, Tashianna. I can talk to her about anything, even my darkest secrets. Just like any other relationship, we have our disagreements and arguments, but we are able to settle it out. We always forgive each other. Tashianna will always have my back and I will always have hers. When I tell her about my insecurities she always makes me feel better. Tashianna will always tell me the truth when I\u2019m in the wrong, not just with her but with other people as well. Even when I don\u2019t want to hear it, she still keeps it real with me.<\/p>\n

My relationship with Tashianna is healthy because we can overcome any obstacle we face. Even if we are not on speaking terms I know she loves me and that our relationship will never die out.<\/p>\n

Dionna received $100 for taking top prize in the writing contest.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * * * *<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Second Place<\/span><\/h5>\n

Adam, age 16\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

I have a very healthy relationship with my foster family. We don\u2019t argue, we don\u2019t yell. We enjoy being around each other….<\/p>\n

I had severe back problems [when I came to them]. They noticed and I had to have MAJOR surgery. They stayed with me in the hospital for 16 days and never left my side….<\/p>\n

I\u2019m the happiest I\u2019ve been in a long time and I am very, very grateful for that. When I first got here I really didn\u2019t know what love was. Now I am treated with all the love and affection I\u2019ve always wanted in my life but really never had. I love them and they love me. That is a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n

Adam received $50 for taking second prize in the writing contest.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * * * *<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Third Place<\/span><\/h5>\n

Chidubem, age 17\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

[When] my mother told the judge that she didn\u2019t want to\/ couldn\u2019t keep us, I felt unwanted and unloved… I felt that if the most important people in my life were told they could only pick one person, they wouldn\u2019t pick me. Not one person, not my mother, my sisters, or even my best friend. I believed that if people had to choose between having to be with me and anyone else, they would take their shot with someone else. Truthfully, I wouldn\u2019t have picked myself….<\/p>\n

[But today] I believe Mrs. Chevy, a foster parent, would pick me…. [Now] for the first time in over three years, I would pick myself. I love myself. I want myself….<\/p>\n

[Since] Mrs. Chevy helped me love myself, I\u2019ve been able to properly receive love from others. As clich\u00e9 as this is, the healthiest relationship I have today, is with me. And isn\u2019t that the most important thing?<\/p>\n

Chidubem received $25 for taking third prize in the writing contest.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * * * *<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I Have a Healthy Relationship with . . .
\n<\/span><\/h5>\n

\"\"<\/a>My twin<\/strong> . . . . I don\u2019t just say that because we are twins, I\u2019m saying that because it\u2019s true. I know our relationship is very, very healthy because she tells me true things that will help me get through life or a situation. Sometimes I don\u2019t wanna hear it, but at the end I always find out what she said was true. Another way I know our relationship is healthy is she never hurts me mentally, physically, emotionally, or verbally. . . . She never says things about my weight. . . . She builds me up every day mentally by pushing me to do what\u2019s right and making me a better person. \u2014 Gabriella, age 16<\/em><\/p>\n

My adoptive mom<\/strong> . . . we get along so well no matter what happens. Also, I know that if I ever mess up in my life, she will be there to forgive me and help me out. That\u2019s why I am glad to call her my mom. . . . The number one key for a healthy relationship is FORGIVENESS and my mom always forgives me no matter what. The relationship I have with my mother is the best relationship I have ever had. \u2014 Dawn, age 18<\/em><\/p>\n

My foster parents<\/strong> . . . . They took me in and for the first three months I didn\u2019t trust them, but slowly I realized they truly cared. I started to believe that my mom left me cause she didn\u2019t love me, so I took all my anger at my biological mom and took it out on my foster parents. 2016 was my fourth year with them. They are planning on my adoption.<\/p>\n

What really makes a long-lasting, successful relationship? Well for starters LOVE has a big role. Love isn\u2019t a word you just say. You have to show love. Patience and forgiveness helps you a lot. You have to be able to forgive and be patient even when you\u2019re at your worst. Love isn\u2019t about expensive gifts but about the laughter, the memories, and the inside jokes you develop over time. . . .<\/p>\n

We went through hard times together, yet they still love me unconditionally. I used to have very little self-esteem and pretty much hated myself because of what happened to me as a child. There were a couple of times when my foster parents would compliment me and say I looked nice and I would blow it all out of proportion. I would scream and say \u201cyou never loved me,\u201d \u201cyou are lying to me!\u201d . . . . I would keep screaming and screaming, saying I hated them and was gonna walk on their graveyard and laugh.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I look back and wish I could take back what I said. I didn\u2019t deserve such a caring family, but I love them! What shocks me the most is that they still love me to this very day. \u2014 Andrea, age 12<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>My foster parents<\/strong>. . . . I have been in foster care for almost four years. When I came to foster care I didn\u2019t know anybody. I was scared the first night and the second, and maybe the third. The next couple of weeks were OK because I was just getting to know everybody and they got to know me. I felt a lot better. When my foster parents went on vacation, I went too. They treated me like their own child and I liked that. When I got in trouble, they would ground me. When I came home from school my foster parents would help me with my homework and I got good grades . . . . When it came to holidays, I would participate in the activities and spend time with family. I learned a lot and I\u2019m getting better.
\n\u2014 Faith, age 13<\/em><\/p>\n

These young people received $20 for having their essays published.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * * *
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Curious about Our Next Writing Contest?<\/span><\/h6>\n

Click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the last issue of Fostering Perspectives we asked young people in foster care, \u201cDescribe a healthy relationship in your life today. How do you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":82,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[1429],"series":[1418],"class_list":["post-1228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-perspectives","tag-healthy-relatinships","series-may-2017"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/82"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1228"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=1228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}