by Jonathan Rockoff \u2022<\/p>\n
When Tyson Robertson was growing up, he and his mother spent time in a homeless shelter while she struggled with substance use disorder. Soon after he was out on his own, it became clear his mother was heading down the same path. Only this time, it would be his siblings, Tyshawn and Tyanna, who\u2019d be staying in a homeless shelter with her.<\/p>\n
Tyson decided he couldn\u2019t let that happen. Although the county department of social services (DSS) had some concerns\u2014he was only 21 and just getting started financially\u2014he was able to take Tyshawn and Tyanna in.<\/p>\n
Suddenly there he was, a 21-year-old raising two 9-year-olds.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
A Big Change<\/span><\/strong>
\nSuddenly there he was, a 21-year-old raising two 9-year-olds. He had always been somewhat of a father figure to them, but now he was the sole parental figure.<\/p>\nTyson smiled when I asked him about that transition. \u201cThey\u2019ve always been good kids,\u201d he said. \u201cThey never gave me any real trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n
The hard part was making ends meet. Tyson made many sacrifices and at first received only minimal financial assistance. Although he laughs about it now, he says one of the toughest parts for him was having to sell his video game collection.<\/p>\n
Tyson says things got a lot better when he became licensed as a foster parent. Once he was licensed, he received training, adequate financial support, and assistance in any other way he needed to provide a safe and loving home. Eventually he was able to adopt Tyshawn and Tyanna.<\/p>\n
Trayvon<\/span><\/strong>
\nEight years later, when Tyson was 29, things were fine. He was working and parenting, and Tyshawn and Tyanna were doing well at home and in school.<\/p>\nThe same was not true for their brother, Trayvon. At age 9, Trayvon was bouncing from one foster home to another. The bright spot was that he spent every other weekend with Tyson, Tyshawn, and Tyanna. But at the end of the weekend he would always cry about having to leave his siblings.<\/p>\n
At that point, Tyson decided he wanted to adopt Trayvon. As before, DSS was not wholly on board with this idea. After all, Trayvon was still in his 20\u2019s and raising two 17-year-olds. But Tyson fought for his brother and won. In the end he was able to adopt Trayvon, too.<\/p>\n
Tyson is incredibly strong, but he admits he couldn\u2019t have done it alone. His aunt was a huge support, always offering encouraging words and assistance. He also made a point to tell me Tyshawn and Tyanna were and remain a huge help with Trayvon.<\/p>\n
Looking Forward<\/span><\/strong>
\nThis story isn\u2019t over, but it has all the components of a happy ending. Tyson has a great career managing data for a large computer company. His relationship with his mother has been strained in the past, but it\u2019s improving.<\/p>\nTyshawn and Tyanna are 21, the same age Tyson was when he made his historic decision. Tyshawn has a job and works hard. He doesn\u2019t hesitate to take care of Trayvon when Tyson has to work late or travel. Tyanna is working her way through college and is set to graduate from East Carolina University in 2020. Trayvon is a teenager, and Tyson says it\u2019s going about as well as raising a teenager can go.<\/p>\n
Oh, and don\u2019t worry. Tyson got his video games back. He told me proudly they are an important part of his self-care, and self-care is something every kinship caregiver needs.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Rockoff is a Training Specialist with the Family and Children\u2019s Resource Program at the UNC School of Social Work.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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