{"id":1818,"date":"2020-04-16T15:02:46","date_gmt":"2020-04-16T15:02:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1818"},"modified":"2020-10-23T13:39:48","modified_gmt":"2020-10-23T13:39:48","slug":"supporting-young-parents-in-foster-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/?p=1818","title":{"rendered":"Supporting young parents in foster care"},"content":{"rendered":"

It can be hard for foster parents and staff to balance ensuring that a baby is well cared for without taking over the parenting role and sidelining the young parent. Here, Martha Edwards, the director of the Ackerman Institute\u2019s Center for the Developing Child and Family in New York, explains how foster parents and staff can help young parents gain confidence and build the connection with their child:<\/em><\/p>\n

After a baby is born, staff and foster parents sometimes look at moms struggling and find it easier to just take over. That\u2019s understandable because these adults may be more experienced as parents. But when that happens, mothers can wind up feeling less confident and less connected to their babies.<\/p>\n

In our trainings, we encourage staff and foster parents to provide moms just enough help but not more. We also encourage them to think of their jobs as connecting with the mother, not with the baby.<\/p>\n

Provide moms just enough help but not more. Also, think of your job as connecting with the mother, not with the baby.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We introduce the concept of \u201cparallel process,\u201d which means that staff and foster parents provide the same kind of support to young mothers that they\u2019d like to see mothers give their babies. Staff and foster parents often say moms should be more responsive to their babies, or try harder to understand their feelings. We ask them: \u201cWhat are you doing to read that mom\u2019s cues and respond to her? What are you doing to learn what that mom is feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

One foster mother told us, \u201cThe teen mom in my home is up all night on the phone. Then she has a hard time getting up for her child.\u201d We helped her become curious about that, and start a conversation. In the conversation, the mom was able to explain that the middle of the night was a scary time when she used to wait for the person who sexually abused her. Going to sleep was the last thing she wanted to do. That understanding helped the foster mother be a lot more supportive and a lot less judgmental. Once mothers in foster care have support, they\u2019re better able to focus on the relationship with their babies.<\/p>\n

When staff and foster parents have safety concerns, that\u2019s another opportunity to collaborate. We coach them to say very directly to the mom: \u201cHere\u2019s what I\u2019m worried about. What can we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

If they decide they have to make a report, we advocate that they let the mom know exactly what they are going to report, have her sit with them while they make the report, and let the person receiving the report know they have discussed it with the mom. That can help preserve the relationship even through a very difficult process.<\/p>\n

Reprinted with permission from RISE Insights, spring 2018<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It can be hard for foster parents and staff to balance ensuring that a baby is well cared for without taking over the parenting role […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1819,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,15,22,19],"tags":[1576,1577,1572,1575,56,1578],"series":[1569],"class_list":["post-1818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-honoring-family-connections","category-parenting-kids-in-care","category-teens","category-working-with-others","tag-babies","tag-infants","tag-pregnancy","tag-pregnant","tag-shared-parenting","tag-toddlers","series-may-2020"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1818"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1818\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1818"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=1818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}