By Barbara Young <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In resource parent pre-service training, we discuss Maslow\u2019s Hierarchy of Need, which is a visual representation of basic human needs. As resource parents, we are usually at the top. A level called \u201cMaking our Dreams Come True.\u201d We have already navigated our needs for survival, safety, love & belonging, and self-esteem. We feel confident in our abilities and want to share our love and support with others in need. For example, after completing resource parent pre-service classes and submitting our licensing paperwork, I would have given me and my husband a score of 8 out of 10 in regards to being \u201cready\u201d to foster. We were excited and confident and nervous. We felt prepared and of course, once we received our first placement, we realized that there was a LOT that we didn\u2019t know. Does this sound familiar? It was all part of our journey to become resilient resource parents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When children come into care, they are living in survival mode. They are at the bottom of Maslow\u2019s Hierarchy of Need, just trying to survive and keep themselves safe. This presents a challenge and often resource parents are surprised by the behaviors, even though we were told ahead of time what we were likely to experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As my friend and former co-worker Joe Allen says \u201cGreat resource parents rarely just exist, they have to be developed.\u201d We don\u2019t know what we don\u2019t know, so we, as individuals need to be constantly evaluating ourselves, our strengths, and our needs. Ask yourself \u201cWhat needs to change to make me a better resource parent?\u201d \u201cWhat can I do to Work in Partnership<\/em> or Communicate Effectively,\u201d <\/em>two of the 12 Criteria for Mutual Selection in resource parent licensing. \u201cWhat strengths or needs can I identify in myself and others?\u201d \u201cWhen there is frustration with a case or a person, what is the need behind the behavior and how can I meet the need?\u201d This applies to our work with children and youth and<\/em> our work with other adults involved in the case. So, how can we as resource parents AND social workers work together in partnership to become more resilient? We do that by partnering with each other and by communicating effectively! We want to make sure we feel confident and equipped to continue fostering even after we face adversity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Thinking about partnership and resilience, my mind immediately leaps to a wonderful resource created in 2015 titled \u201cTreat Them like GOLD \u2013 A Best Practice Guide to Partnering with Resource Families.\u201d This very helpful resource was developed in North Carolina by the Department of Health and Human Services. You\u2019ll see that it is a resource directed towards agency staff but it also applies to us as resource parents. Below is an excerpt I have found helpful in my own journey I wanted to share: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Resource Families: <\/em>Partners<\/em><\/strong>, Not Employees<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cResource families are not agency employees, nor are they temporary workers. But if they aren\u2019t employees, what are they? The answer, of course, is partners: people who join with others to pursue a common interest or goal. In their case\u2014and ours\u2014that common goal is the welfare of children and their families.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Resource families make a remarkable commitment when they decide to partner with child welfare agencies.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n To support resource families and fulfill their side of the partnership, child welfare agencies should:<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Everyone desires respect<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Everyone needs to be heard<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Everyone has strengths<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Judgments can wait<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Partners share power<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Partnership is a process<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n When working in partnership with your social workers, make sure you\u2019re advocating for yourself using the principles above! <\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are several golden nuggets of wisdom resource parents should be aware of from \u201cTreat them like Gold\u201d so they can advocate for themselves including: <\/p>\n\n\n\n As individuals, we are always growing, changing, and building resilience for ourselves, our children, and the others around us. So, as a resource parent, what more can you do to work in partnership to improve the lives of children and youth in foster care? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Barbara Young is a former foster parent, a Family Partner with the North Carolina Child Welfare Advisory Council, and a Co-Trainer of Leaders in TIPS-MAPP and Deciding Together.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tips to Strengthen Minds and Uplift Families<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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