By Larron Lee, MS, LCMHCS<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this article, I want to talk with you about something many of us know is important but sometimes hesitate to lean into\u2014helping the children in our care push past stigma and truly engage in mental health services.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before we dive in, humor me for a moment and think about a few questions. What comes to mind when you hear the phrase \u201cmental health treatment?\u201d How do you take care of your own mental health? And are there any barriers that make it hard for you to prioritize it? My hope is that by pausing to look inward first, you\u2019ll be better equipped to understand, empathize with, and support the young people who depend on you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll be honest\u2014years ago, after a traumatic experience, I found myself wrestling with these same questions. And despite being a mental health professional, despite believing strongly in the value of support, I realized I had drifted far from taking care of my own emotional well-being. Like many of us, I had poured so much into everyone else that I didn\u2019t notice I was running on empty. It happens quietly, slowly, and often without our permission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What I\u2019ve learned (and continue to learn at 40+ years old) is that when we know better, we tend to do better. So, let\u2019s level-set together. Mental health is something we all have, and it exists on a spectrum. It influences how we show up emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally. Things like confidence, healthy relationships, coping skills, and resiliency aren\u2019t random\u2014they often reflect the state of our mental health. And just like our homes, cars, and bodies need regular care, so does our emotional and psychological well-being. None of us were designed to handle everything alone, and sometimes we really do need support from a legit professional\u2014not Google, not TikTok, not \u201cpushing through,\u201d but actual support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, let\u2019s talk about the children and teens in North Carolina. In 2020, more than one in ten kids aged 3 to 17 were diagnosed with depression or anxiety. In 2021, one in five high school students seriously considered suicide. For kids ages 10\u201314, suicide is currently one of the leading causes of death. And while research on foster and kinship youth in NC is still limited, national data often shows that up to 80% of children in care have significant mental health needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With numbers like that, you\u2019d think everyone would be rushing to get help\u2014but that\u2019s not always the case. Some families struggle to find time or don\u2019t know where to start (side note: I\u2019m hopeful that accessing care will become easier with the CFSP launching in NC). Others (like some of our children in need of ABA) have limited access to services in their area. Some children (and adults) carry deep distrust of systems or providers. And then there\u2019s stigma\u2014the big one. Stigma sticks around because people misunderstand mental health and fear judgment. We tell ourselves things like, \u201cNobody will understand,\u201d \u201cI should be able to handle this,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want to burden anyone.\u201d Many of us grew up hearing messages about being strong, pushing through, or keeping things to ourselves. And let\u2019s be real\u2014historically, many communities, regardless of race or socioeconomic status, including foster\/kinship circles, learned survival by not talking about what hurt. But silence doesn\u2019t heal; it isolates. Mental health stigma convinces us that needing help equals weakness\u2014and none of us want to be seen that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do we help the children in our care move beyond that? How do we support them in engaging with services that could genuinely change their lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It starts with us\u2014and with conversation, education, and normalizing mental health as part of everyday wellness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One message I often share with the parents and caregivers I work with is this: You are a change agent. Whether you see it or not, you carry tremendous influence. I like to use the thermostat vs. thermometer analogy. A thermometer can only tell you the temperature. A thermostat, on the other hand, actually changes the climate. Most caregivers I meet want to be thermostats\u2014people who help shift the emotional climate for their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So in that spirit, here are a few practical things you can do to support your child\u2019s engagement:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Talk openly about mental health. Share why you believe support is important. If comfortable, offer an age-appropriate example from your own life. Modeling reduces fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Help them unpack any misconceptions. Remind them it\u2019s okay not to be okay\u2014and it\u2019s okay to need help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Explore options together. Attend intake sessions, ask questions, and advocate for what your child needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Meet the provider beforehand. Sometimes a simple introduction eases anxiety for both you and your child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Use positive reinforcement. For younger kids, a small reward system can go a long way. For older youth, genuine acknowledgment and encouragement speak volumes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, I also know some of you have tried all of this and still feel stuck because your child wants nothing to do with treatment. If that\u2019s you, you\u2019re not alone. In those situations, it may help to lean on the voices your child respects\u2014family members, mentors, coaches, church leaders, musicians, athletes, content creators, or other trusted figures. Many of today\u2019s influencers are speaking openly about mental health in powerful ways. Introduce their stories. Let your child hear someone they admire say, \u201cGetting help saved me,\u201d or \u201cTherapy changed my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also consider reaching out to Healthy Blue and your local DSS to ask about programs that promote social-emotional wellness. These group settings reduce stigma naturally because kids realize they\u2019re not the only ones navigating challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the end of the day, we can lead children to the resources, but we can\u2019t force them to engage. Their willingness is a key part of the process. Accepting that can feel tough, especially when you clearly see how much they could benefit (or when participation is court-ordered). But acceptance doesn\u2019t mean giving up\u2014it means staying committed without carrying the weight alone. It means staying curious, asking what\u2019s really going on beneath the resistance, and choosing compassion over frustration or rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember, your role matters in your child\u2019s active engagement in mental health services, regardless of any barriers that may stand in their way. Prioritize your own mental well-being by taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, and engaging in activities that bring you purpose and peace. You can\u2019t pour from an empty cup\u2014trust me, I\u2019ve tried. And above all, please remember this: you are not alone. Stay the course!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Larron Lee, MS, LCMHCS is Mental Health Professional with Lee Consulting Group of NC, PLLC<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Larron Lee, MS, LCMHCS In this article, I want to talk with you about something many of us know is important but sometimes hesitate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2857,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,15,17,24,1,19],"tags":[],"series":[1698],"class_list":["post-2879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured-content","category-parenting-kids-in-care","category-promoting-permanency","category-resources","category-uncategorized","category-working-with-others","series-february-2026"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2879"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2879"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fosteringperspectives.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=2879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}