Vol. 8, No. 1• November 2003

Thoughts on Faith and Foster Care

by Elizabeth Cassedy

My husband and I attend church on Sundays. When we were thinking of becoming foster parents, we joked with our minister that it seemed that every Sunday the sermon was directed at us, that we were supposed to be doing something of service.

I had learned through the years that all the successful families I worked with had a strong belief system that supported them in their foster parenting. Foster parents had always talked to me about the importance of their faith and of going to church for their families and for their foster children. It’s a topic that we had always dealt with on a peripheral level in MAPP class: “Yes, you can do this IF the birth family has the same belief system, and IF the birth family consents.”

My perspective on this issue has changed since I became a foster parent. Now I think it’s time we opened a dialogue about the role of faith and belief. I think of God as the elephant in the room we can no longer ignore.

Church and the rituals fascinated my children. They were so perfect when they first attended. Thankfully their behavior has changed. Now they act like the other kids. They complain, “It’s boring!” My answer is, “Get over it. This is what we do.”

Our church community has been respectful and unintrusive. Our children have been welcomed, and no questions were asked about their past experiences.

Why do I believe in the importance of the church community and the lessons learned in Sunday school? Because I believe we need all the help we can get to teach our children. We can’t do this alone. Do our schools teach children to be caring and respectful, to think of others? Do they learn in school to care for their friends, to be honest and kind and forgiving and to not react in anger?

It’s not the role of the school to teach these lessons, it’s the role of the family, and our children have had life experiences where they may not have learned these lessons from their families. Our church community can help us to help our children.

Living in the South, there’s not the diversity of religions that families in other parts of the country experience. While I firmly believe we need to be respectful of one another’s beliefs, we must also find common ground to give our children the positive values that all faith communities teach.

Elizabeth Cassedy is a licensing social worker for Chatham County DSS. She and her husband are also foster parents for Orange County, North Carolina.

Copyright � 2003 Jordan Institute for Families