Vol. 8, No. 1• November 2003

Planting Forever Seeds

by Caryl Harvey

They left her mid-afternoon, dressed in too-large sweats, holding her worn bag in a death grip.

“I’m Lizabeth.”

“Hi, Lizabeth, can I take your bag for you?”

I reached for it; she drew back.

Of course, I couldn’t take it. It was hers. Inside, a crayon drawing of her mother and another stained, torn sweat suit were her treasures.

I wanted to gather her in my arms, to hug her, to make everything all right. Instead, I asked her if she’d like to see her room.

“Can I watch TV?” She eyed my seven-year-old grandson, sprawled on his stomach in front of the set. At my nod, she plopped down beside him and cupped her chin in her hands. She was eight, and alone, and the TV seemed the friendliest place to be.

Eventually, she left us, but not before she learned all the words to several bedtime stories, and how to make suds on the frilly bath “poof” in the tub. Not until she mastered writing her ABC’s on primary “clothesline” paper, biting her tongue with the effort. Not before she found out adults can touch without hurting. She left us, waving frantically from the back window of the car that spirited her away. She cried, and so did we.

Foster children aren’t forever. Foster parents are. That’s why I love being a foster parent. We plant a seed in a child that grows with her, a seed of self-respect and trust. We don’t always get to water it. Sometimes there’s only time to drop it into the fertile soil of a young life. We seldom get to see it mature. But we plant our seed nevertheless, in the knowledge that it will make a difference as it grows. A forever difference.

Caryl Harvey is a foster parent in Colorado. This essay was one of the winners of the Colorado State Foster Parent Association’s 2003 essay contest on the subject “Why I Love Being a Foster Parent.” To read other contest winners, visit the Casey Family Programs National Center for Resource Family Support at <http://www.casey.org/cnc/support_retention/>. Reprinted with permission from
<www.casey.org/cnc/support_retention/caryl_harvey.htm>.