Vol. 8, No. 2• May 2004
What are you proud of?
In our daily lives many of us devote a great deal of attention to problems, to what’s wrong. It’s not surprising: our schools and businesses spend a great deal of time teaching people to identify problems, and they shower rewards on those who do it well.
But if we pay too much attention to the negative and the broken, it is easy for us to start to think that’s all there is. If we fixate on a child’s negative behaviors, or a social worker’s or foster parent’s mistakes, we run the risk of overlooking the good that person does. Or the good that person is.
That’s something we can’t afford to do. We need to see the strengths in ourselves, in others, and in our world. Why? Because our strengths and past successes hold the key to solving the challenges that lie ahead of us.
With these thoughts in mind, the writing contest in the last issue of Fostering Perspectives posed the following question to current and former foster youth: “What’s something about yourself that you are proud of, and why?”
We hoped that by asking this we could help the kids who wrote in—and the adults who ultimately read their responses—shine a little light on what is right in their lives.
We were not disappointed. In the many responses we received—we regret we couldn’t publish them all—young people told us in a clear way that they had lots of reasons to celebrate.
Some were proud of things that make kids everywhere proud: the ability to play a sport, do a flip, draw a picture, get good grades. Others were proud of victories in their struggles with substance abuse and anger. Still others were proud of overcoming experiences—abuse, neglect, multiple placements—that once made them doubt their worth as people.
They expressed their pride in different voices. Some voices were tentative—almost whispers—as if they were not sure they’d be believed. Others rang with confidence and conviction, like trumpets.
Viewed together, these essays create a portrait of foster children as people who recognize something of value in themselves. Now that is something of which we should be proud.
Yet it is also our task at hand. As parents, social workers, and as a society, we must continue to help children shine a light on their successes and to nurture their pride in who they are today and who they will be tomorrow. —John McMahon, Editor
I’m proud of all my unique looks. I have gorgeous brown hair that shines in the sun. My eyes twinkle when I look around.
I’m proud of my talents because not many people can do some of them. My thumbs are double-jointed—I can stick them behind my fists. My friends think it is so cool that I can hang upside down on monkey bars.
I like the fact that I make good grades in school. My teachers like me a whole lot. They keep my scores up by making sure I understand everything they teach us in class.
I’m happy that I have a loving family who cares for me by giving me shelter, clothes on my back, food, and water.
My birthday is the first day of spring, March 20. I think that is special but some other holidays are much better than spring.
There is something about myself that I am really proud of—it is that I try to be myself. I do not go looking through magazines to see what they look like to improve myself. I try to stay one of a kind, not some duplicate of some girl I saw in a magazine that used a certain kind of makeup and knows she has two boyfriends and a million others who like her. I would just rather stick with the one that I already have.
The one thing I have that I’m proud of is my friends, because if I feel that I’m useless they would cheer me up because that is what friends are for. If you are mean to your friends you will not have anyone to cheer you up so you would live your life in misery and sorrow. I have a lot of friends and plan to keep it that way.
These are some things about myself I’m proud of.Joy Elizabeth received $100 for her first place essay
My name is Sofia and I am 12 years old. I have been in foster care since I was eight. My foster mom and dad have adopted me and I am so glad they did. With their guidance I feel like my life is back on track.
The one thing I am proud of is making good grades. When I was with my birth mom I missed 48 days of school because she was always sleeping from the pills and alcohol and she could not get me off to school. I am proud of achieving the accomplishments that I have. Like winning the Noon Optimist Character Award, which the teachers at Bethel Elementary voted for me, and winning the DARE Essay award, and being part of the safety patrol last year at my school.
I feel like I have proven myself with the right guidance in my life now, that I can accomplish anything, and become anything I want later in life. I am glad I have a new family that cares enough about me to get me in the right direction for what life has to offer.
There are still caring people out there in this world who love children and I can thank DSS and my new family for that.
Sofia received $50 for having her essay published
One thing I am proud of is my artwork. I like to draw all the time. I am in an art class at school where I learn about artists and other styles of art. I also have earned the art merit badge for Boy Scouts.
At school we were seeing who could draw the best eagle to go in our yearbook for the school mascot. I drew a good one but I didn’t get it published in the school yearbook. When I took it home, my foster mother Darlene liked it so much that she put it in a picture frame.
I also like to paint. I just painted a lighthouse that I saw on an eighth grade field trip to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I painted the lighthouse because I was working on the art merit badge and I needed to paint a picture in acrylic. To accomplish the art merit badge I needed to do a pencil sketch so I used the eagle that I drew at school. I did an ink sketch of our house for the merit badge. I also had to do an acrylic. I did a picture of Jesus in a manger, which turned out to look pretty good.
I am really proud of how my artwork can look. I also got the art merit badge. One day my art may become known around the world.
Daniel received $25 for having his essay published and $15 for having his drawing, “Leaping Tiger,” published
I am proud of myself because I use to be not able to control my anger. After being placed in therapeutic foster care and seeing my therapist I have learned to control my anger. My foster family and I go on therapeutic walks and sit down and talk about my feelings. My foster family clipped an old article out of Fostering Perspectives about things you can say to yourself to keep a lid on your anger. This helps me a lot in remembering how to control my anger.CJ received $15 for having his essay published
Billy received $15 for having his drawing published
I’ve been working really hard to accomplish things that I can be proud of. I’m proud that I can actually do homework without getting frustrated. I used to get mad and quit. I’m proud that I’ve made friends. I’m proud that I’ve learned to snowboard. I don’t snowboard a lot, but I’m pretty good at it, though. I’m really good at skiing because I can grind on skis.My favorite thing to do is cheerlead. I can do a back handspring, and I’m a flyer. . .
Now that I found out that people aren’t perfect, I’m proud to be who I am.
Andrea received $15 for having her essay published
Heather received $15 for having her drawing published
My adoptive mother, Elizabeth, helped me discover my talent for writing. I was placed in foster care when I was three and a half years old. I was a behavior problem. I went through four different homes in only a year’s time span. Nobody took time with me until Elizabeth. I know I was bad and cost her a lot, but she still gave me a chance. . . .
Even though I still get in trouble, I think that with her help I could turn my talent into something worthwhile. So I can then make what makes me proud, make her proud too!
Jamar received $15 for having his essay published
Copyright � 2004 Jordan Institute for Families
