Vol. 15, No. 2 • May 2011

Books for Kids—and Parents—about Puberty

by Becky and Joe Burmester

Help! I’m blushing!

OK, I’ll be serious. In this issue we’re going to consider books on puberty. It has been many long years since Joe and I survived puberty ourselves, and many years since we survived our oldest children’s puberty. As veteran foster parents—including several years fostering teens and preteens—reading about this topic brought back many memories (only some of which were fond).

Why do young people in foster care need to read and to learn about the issues of puberty? Because knowledge is power, and kids in care need every bit of power they can grasp.

So I hit the library ready to read, read, and read some more. I used the following questions to help me measure the worth of each book:

Is it interesting to me? What age person is the book written for? Would the target audience actually read the book? Would they learn anything? Would parents have anything to talk about as a result of reading this book? Are the important topics covered (that is, is this more than a sex ed lesson?)? And, finally, how “white” is the book? Because Joe and I are raising children of a different race, I have become ever more conscious of diversity issues in illustrations and text.

Here are some books for you to consider.

Your Body Belongs to You
This book is suitable for children as young as three. You might have a difficult time engaging children older than nine or ten unless there were younger children present, since this is a picture book. The illustrations are racially diverse and the text is simple. The message of safe and appropriate touch is one that many children in care have not learned or experienced. Using this book as a frequent bed time story could be very empowering for children who’ve been abused. It would provide the opportunity to talk about being safe.

It’s Perfectly Normal
Updated for the 21st century and marketed for ages 10 and up, this book looks like a picture book from the outside and a bit like a graphic novel on the inside. It is a comprehensive book for boys and girls. A young person with reading issues might be overwhelmed by the amount of text, but then again is any topic more riveting than sex? The book is a favorite of children’s experts and librarians, with endorsements from T. Berry Brazelton, Planned Parenthood, and the National Urban League. The illustrations are very ethnically diverse. Parents, you might even learn a thing or two if you read the book cover to cover.

Ready, Set, Grow!
Targeted toward younger girls. My 8-year-old daughter, who is definitely entering puberty and who is a great reader, will tackle this book on her own and then we’ll talk about it. The illustrations indicate the wide variations in how developing girls look and are ethnically diverse as well.

The Care and Keeping of You
I was prepared to love this American Girl publication. If my daughter were white, I probably would love it. But, by page 16 when I was reading about the importance of clean hair and learning that I may need to wash my hair several times a week, I concluded that this book was too “white” for my African American daughter. There are different ethnicities represented in the illustrations, but when push comes to shove I felt whites had the upper hand. The book might be diverse enough for a child of color being raised in a same-race family. My children’s world is already too white.

The What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys
First published in 1983 and regularly revised, this is the book we used to open the puberty conversation with our son, who is now 29. I personally wish there were more information/explanation of birth control and abstinence. However, the book does a good job addressing a lot of issues young males find hard to talk about.

Sheba: Home Is Where the Heart Is Joe and I were rather slow at recognizing the struggles our Forever Children (by birth and adoption) had with being a foster family. We expected our children to share their home and their parents with others on a full time basis for as long as those children needed to be part of our family. The permanent members of our family sometimes struggled with why the temporary members behaved as they did. There have also been issues about understanding different life experiences. If your family has some of these same issues, Sheba: Home Is Where the Heart Is, by Midge Noble, might be a story you would want to read as a family. My husband travels a lot for work, so he missed this story. It was evening reading for our son (age 10), our daughter (age 8) and a daughter of one of our former foster daughters, also age 8. Told in eight chapters, this story is about Sheba, a young dog that survives abuse and neglect and is adopted by a young woman who understands her and accepts her fears and mistrust. The author is a therapist who works with children and families dealing with abuse, neglect, loss, foster care, and adoption. My young audience was captivated by Sheba’s story and very concerned for her well being. After finishing the story we talked about how Sheba had some of the same kinds of experiences that some of our foster children have had. This is a story that could be used to open a very helpful family dialogue.

These are the books on my nightstand. What are you reading that might help foster parents? Let me know! (919/870-9968; [email protected]).

Copyright � 2011 Jordan Institute for Families