by John McMahon
Being a parent is tough even under ideal conditions. Learning to parent while you are in foster care and still in high school is next-level hard. Jonny was already a father when he was placed in foster care at age 16. His newborn son, Major, was living with his mother, who was also in foster care.
Jonny’s start in foster was rocky. “Honestly, at first it was horrible,” Jonny says. “I saw DSS as the bad guys.” Then something unexpected happened: Jonny’s son was placed with him. “It all turned around when I started living with my son,” Jonny says. “Before I had Major I was getting in trouble in school. I was a troubled kid at the time. But when my son was placed with me, I looked in the mirror and said, ‘I’m gonna get myself together.’”
Dr. Paris Brown, social work supervisor from the county that had custody of Jonny and his son at that time, recalls, “He grew up overnight. He had no trouble taking care of his son.” Jonny says the motivation he needed to take on the responsibilities of a father at such a young age came from his own mother and father. “I had two great parents. I was raised right. I’m not gonna leave my son. I feel I wouldn’t really be a man if I wasn’t in my son’s life.”
Jonny also gives credit to his foster mother, Ms. Elizabeth, for respecting his role as a father and letting him parent his son. “She let me mess up. She let me make my own mistakes. But she was also always looking over my shoulder, and she would give me advice if I needed help.” When he turned 18, Jonny chose to remain in foster care by enrolling in the Foster Care 18-21 program. He says the support and resources that come with that program have helped. And he appreciates that his child welfare workers Cartia and Paula are in his life to hold him accountable. “It’s good to have somebody looking over me to tell me, ‘Jonny, you need to …’ and ‘Don’t be doing that.’”
Today Jonny, 19, and Major, 3, live with Jonny’s dad. Jonny graduated from high school in June and works at Amazon. “I work third shift,” Jonny says, “so during the day I can take care of my son. Then I switch off to my dad so my dad can get him some dinner and put him in the bed. Then I come back and get right back to it, taking care of him.” “I’m planning on getting my own spot, but not quite yet.”
Dr. Brown, the social work supervisor, says Jonny’s story shows what’s possible when we support young people in foster care. But she gives most of the credit to Jonny. “For him to do what he needed to do to be on his own with his son is amazing.” Jonny is more modest. He says, “It wasn’t just me. It was my social workers. I had great social workers. I had a great foster mom. Every kid doesn’t get that blessing.”
