by Derrick J. Byrd
When it comes to serving fathers involved with the child welfare system, it’s likely you see dads who may be desperate, angry, lost, or worse— hopeless. They’ve failed in relationships with their children, their spouse or partner, extended family, friends, employers, and others. Many have made bad decisions and mistakes. They experience further barriers from social services, child support, and the courts.
In some people’s eyes these dads are dead beat, dead broke, and dead wrong. Many have accepted those narratives and deem themselves irrelevant and replaceable. But where does that leave their children?
A Failure to Engage Fathers
Child welfare has a federal mandate to engage fathers. Yet the system mostly has focused on serving mothers. At one time, policies made the very presence of a father or father-figure in the home a barrier. Having a dad in the home made it harder for mothers and their children to get the support they needed. Even today, fathers often are not seen as a viable permanency resource for their children. Despite efforts to correct the system’s bias against fathers, it is still a serious problem.
Reason for Hope
But there is reason for hope. Fathers in North Carolina are experiencing a small but revolutionary transformation in how their roles as parents and child rearing partners are viewed and valued in many child welfare programs. Consider the example of two fathers served by Guilford County DSS. Mr. P., a single father, speaks highly of his involvement with the child welfare system. He says the agency, the child welfare worker, the guardian ad litem (GAL), and the courts all helped him achieve reunification when his 7-month-old son was placed in foster care. At the time, Mr. P. was incarcerated, serving a 2-year sentence. He also had a drinking problem. He says even while he was incarcerated, Guilford DSS supported him as a father. The worker spoke to him regularly about how his son was progressing and sent him pictures. Mr. P. also did his part, completing all the services he could while incarcerated. When he was released, the worker helped his son’s foster parents establish a shared parenting relationship with him. The child welfare worker also advocated in court for him to get custody of his son. Mr. P. says he’s especially grateful the judge overseeing the case was willing to support him in his quest for reunification instead of adoption. Unfortunately, after Mr. P. reunified with his son, his son’s mother died of a drug overdose. Today, Mr. P. is considering becoming a legal guardian for his son’s half-sibling.
Mr. J., another father, had a similar experience. His two young children entered foster care when their mother’s struggles with substance use led her to neglect them. Although he was not physically with his children, Mr. J. realized his own drinking also contributed to the situation. Mr. J. credits Guilford County DSS and his worker for the positive outcomes occurring for him and his children. He says he is a better person and father because of the services he completed and the overwhelming support and guidance provided by the worker.
Agencies Must Do the Work
These stories show us that when systems and institutions are willing to do the work, successful outcomes are possible for fathers and their children. But what is “the work”?
Before they can declare themselves father- friendly, organizations must:
- Assess their readiness to work with fathers
- Address biases, both personal and professional
- Cultivate respect for men as fathers, and
- Work with all their partners (courts, GALs, service providers, etc.) to develop a shared commitment to engaging, involving, and advocating for fathers.
As Jeremiah Donier, a member of Casey Family Programs’ Birth Parent Advisory Committee reminds us, “Building a 21st century child welfare system means we are all in the same boat, paddling together in the same direction, and we finally reach the far shore—with wise intention and kindness to all families, including the full engagement and respect of fathers in the process.”
Derrick W. Byrd, MPA, is Executive Director of Family Resource Center South Atlantic.
