by Jamie Barricelli
Raising teenage siblings can be an incredibly challenging task, especially when circumstances force you to transition from a sister role to that of a parent.
As a 23-year-old, I found myself facing this responsibility. I had to drop out of school to ensure my siblings had a stable and nurturing environment. I want to share the difficulties I encountered, including helping my siblings cope with the childhood trauma inflicted by our mother’s mental, emotional, and physical abuse. However, through the support of a kinship foster care program and a commitment to open communication, emotional well-being, and positive thinking, my family has managed to overcome these challenges and build a new life.
The transition from being a sister to assuming a parental role was undoubtedly one of the most significant challenges I faced. Suddenly, I found myself responsible for making crucial decisions, providing financial support, and ensuring my siblings’ overall well-being. This shift required me to mature rapidly and adapt to the demands of parenthood at a young age. Balancing my own personal growth and aspirations with the needs of my siblings became a delicate juggling act. Not a day came without sacrifices. In order to provide a stable environment for my siblings, I made the difficult decision to drop out of school. This sacrifice was necessary to ensure that we had enough financial resources to meet our basic needs. While it was disheartening to put my education on hold, the well-being of my sib- lings took precedence.
Despite the challenges, I remained determined to create a better future for all of us. One of the most significant hurdles we faced as a family was helping my siblings heal from the childhood trauma inflicted
by our mother’s abusive behavior. The scars left by mental, emotional, and physical abuse were deep, and it required immense patience, understanding, and professional guidance to navigate through the healing process.
The kinship foster care program with Boys and Girls Homes of North Carolina played a crucial role in providing us with the necessary resources and support to address these issues effectively. The program along with its staff members proved to be a lifeline for my family. Through this program, we received education and guidance on understanding and addressing the mental and emotional struggles my siblings and even myself were experiencing.
The program connected us with “third-party” professionals who provided invaluable assistance in dealing with the emotional challenges that were often overwhelming for me as an older sibling. It helped to have someone who was an outside third-party perspective to look in from the outside because while most siblings fight and argue – imagine how hard it was during this difficult transition while everyone established their new family roles. The support we received helped us build a solid foundation for healing and growth.
Today, I am proud to say that my siblings and I have come a long way. With the help of the kinship foster care program, I was able to purchase a house where my siblings can grow up in a safe and nurturing environment. Our home is centered around open communication, healthy emotional expression, and fostering positive thinking. These values have become the pillars of our family’s resilience and growth.
To those in a similar situation- please know there is help out there. Thousands of children are raised by family members other than their parents and while it may be a sudden change for some, remind yourself to take it one day at a time.
Reach out to people for help (school counselors, foster care programs, therapists) and talk to your family members to find ways to create a life that works for everyone. Raising teenage siblings is undoubtedly a challenging journey, particularly for an older sibling who is still navigating their own path in life. However, with determination, support, and access to resources like the kinship foster care program, it is possible to overcome these challenges and create a new life filled with love, healing, and growth. My experience has taught me the importance of resilience, empathy, and the power of a supportive community in overcoming adversity.
