By Vanessa Hill, MA
Culture is the norms, values, and beliefs a group of people share. A family is a group of people aligned by blood, marriage, or adoption. When children are separated from their family, they naturally separate from their culture. In turn, this decreases their levels of resiliency.
The lives of children in care are enhanced and resiliency is built when they have opportunities to re-connect with their culture. This connection helps the child maintain a sense of belonging and identity and decreases the trauma they experience when they need to be removed from their family. It may sound challenging, but there are many ways resource parents can connect children with their culture. Exploring the culture of a child you care for begins with a curiosity about the child’s culture and evolves with participation in the child’s cultural activities. Opportunities to learn more about the child’s culture present while engaging with the child, sharing life experiences together, and shared parenting.
Shared parenting maintains important connections between parents and their children in custody. Maintaining this connection builds the foundation of a relationship that preserves and rebuilds families. Expressing curiosity about the family’s culture during shared parenting can open the door to rich discussions about the child, the family, and their shared experiences. Ask the family to share their culture and do not make assumptions so as to avoid confusion. Asking the family what aspects of their culture are important to them can further open the door to building a relationship together. A few key questions to ask families include:
- What meals and foods do they prepare for their child? Try to get the recipe!
- Do they have musical traditions or favorite songs?
- Are there games they like to play together?
- Are there special traditions for certain nights of the week, like a movie night?
- Do they have any special clothing items or haircare instructions?
- Do they watch or play sports together?
As a resource parent you play a vital role in increasing a child’s connection to their culture and there are so many small things you can do such as:
- Identifying relatives and family supports who are important and maintaining those connections
- Providing toys and reading books that connect them to their culture
- Watching movies and shows featuring characters who share a culture with the child. Representation is important!
- Dressing the child in clothes similar to how the family would dress them
- Talking about and reflecting the values of the birth family
- Taking the child to community events that deepen their connection to their culture
- Including pictures of the child’s family and supports in your home for a visual connection to their culture
When you invest in learning about a child’s culture, you’re investing in that child and their family. Just like all of us, children in care develop their cultural identities and build resiliency through interactions with their family, community, and representative media. As a resource parent, you play a vital role in keeping youth in care connected to their culture.
Vanessa Hill, MA is a Family and Children Services Social Work Supervisor with Buncombe County
