By Sharon Bell, MBA
As foster parents, one of the most vital roles you play is providing a safe and nurturing environment for children who have experienced trauma. Just the experience of being removed from their home and taken to a new family is traumatic for children, not to mention the experiences that may have led to their engagement in child welfare. For children from birth to five years old, trauma can have a profound and lasting effect on their development and behavior; however, with support from safe and caring adults, children can begin to heal and build resilience.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network says that trauma occurs when a child experiences an intense event that threatens or causes harm to his or her emotional and physical well-being. Traumatic events may include natural disasters, family or community violence, serious accidents, or life-threatening illness. For many of the children entering foster care, their trauma histories may include one or more of the following:
- Neglect
- Psychological, physical, or sexual abuse
- Witnessing domestic violence
- Commercial sexual exploitation
Trauma in early childhood can have significant impacts on brain development, emotional regulation, and social functioning. According to research from organizations like the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) and Zero to Three, trauma can disrupt brain development and impact children’s social, emotional, cognitive, and physical development.
The impact of trauma in childhood can have long term impacts far beyond childhood. In fact, many research studies have shown that childhood trauma survivors are more likely to experience:
- Academic challenges, including lower grades and more suspensions/expulsions
- Low self-esteem, poor problem-solving skills, and limited coping skills
- Increased behavioral health symptoms and use of behavioral health services for anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other diagnoses
- Increased rates of substance use
- Increased rates of involvement with child welfare and juvenile justice
- Increased rates of physical health challenges including obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and other ailments
However, with supports from caring adults and access to trauma-informed care and treatment, children can heal from past traumatic experiences. Recognizing and supporting their behaviors and actions through a trauma lens will support young children in their healing and increase their resilience. As foster parents you have a tremendous opportunity to support children as they process their past trauma and help them begin to develop healthy relationships.
Signs of Trauma in Young Children
Each child’s response to trauma is different, but below are common reactions for a young child. Instead of letting the situation frustrate you, consider thinking how one or more of these challenges might be a reaction to their past trauma.
- Behavioral changes
- Increases in fear and startle responses
- Regression of previously mastered skills like toilet training
- Increased complaints about physical symptoms for which no cause can be found
- Difficulty forming relationships with peers, caregivers, and others
- Self-blame for traumatic events
As a foster parent or professional, you play a crucial role in supporting the healing process for traumatized young children. Here are some strategies to promote resilience:
PROVIDE STABILITY AND PREDICTABILITY: Establishing routines and consistent caregiving can help children feel safe and secure. This can include consistent sleep schedules, mealtimes, and family routines. Provide reassurance and comfort during times of stress. Take time to understand the possible reasons for their negative behaviors before reacting to the outward display. Set clear, consistent, and easy to understand expectations and consequences.
PROMOTE POSITIVE ATTACHMENTS: Build trusting relationships with the child through nurturing interactions, responsive caregiving, and affectionate touch. Offer comfort and support during times of distress. Take time to play with young children.
Play is critical to healthy child development and is a great way to strengthen your relationship. It shows your interest in them and their interests, and will help you build stronger connections with them. Play also provides children opportunities to develop language skills, teaches them to express their feelings, and fosters creativity. It doesn’t matter what you play, just give undistracted time to the child doing something that is of interest to them.
HELP TO IDENTIFY TRAUMA TRIGGERS: Watch for patterns of behavior and reactions that do not seem to “fit” the situation. Possible questions to ask yourself:
- What situations or circumstances make them anxious or withdrawn?
- What happens just before aggression, tantrums, or other undesirable behavior?
Use this information to prepare yourself and your child for future similar situations. It may also be helpful to avoid situations that could trigger traumatic memories, until more healing and therapy has occurred.
ENCOURAGE SHARING OF FEELINGS: Create a safe space for the child to express their emotions through play, art, or storytelling. Help children identify their emotions and feelings that lead up to tantrums or other behavior challenges. Validate their feelings and offer empathy and support. Help children label their feelings. You can read books, look at “feeling faces” posters, or talk about emotions. Then, when they’re struggling with a tough emotion, ask them to describe how they’re feeling. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, show them you understand, and reassure them that you are there to help with whatever they need. Try to see things from the child’s perspective. By listening and empathizing, you will also begin to foster mutual respect.
TEACH HEALTHY COPING STRATEGIES: Help children develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing stress and regulating emotions. Teach children to ask for help. Even toddlers can be taught to say, “help, please” instead of throwing the Legos they can’t fit together.
Teach and encourage the use of relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or mindfulness strategies during times of uncertainty or anxiousness. Encourage physical activity as a way to relieve stress and extra energy. Encourage expression through art, music, or dance as a way to release their emotions.
Create a calm down kit or designate a calm down space in your home. Fill the kit or space with items that will help calm or soothe the child—a stress ball, a cozy blanket or pillow, soothing music, pictures that make them happy, and/or a favorite toy. For preschoolers and older children, ask for their input on things that can be included. Then, when they’re anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, encourage them to get their calm down kit or go to their calm down space.
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY: Respond, but don’t overreact to behaviors. Do what you can to keep calm. Maintain a low voice and neutral tone, providing reassurance and acknowledgment of their feelings. Be patient, it takes time for children to process and heal from past trauma.
SEEK SUPPORT: Talk regularly and consult with your foster child’s treatment team including foster care workers, mental health professionals, educators, and other professionals supporting the child. Sharing strategies that work in one setting may benefit the child in other settings. Advocate for and follow through with recommendations for therapy, counseling, or play therapy. These specialized services can provide valuable tools in helping children process and heal from trauma.
SELF CARE: Caring for a traumatized child can be emotionally demanding. Prioritize self-care and seek support from other caregivers, support groups, or others. By taking care of yourself, using positive coping strategies, labeling your own emotions, asking for help when needed, and other acts of self-care, you are role-modeling for the children around you to do the same.
Fostering a traumatized young child can be challenging, but with patience, compassion, and the right support, you can make a profound difference in their lives. By understanding the effects of trauma and implementing strategies for repair and resilience, you can help children heal and thrive, laying the foundation for a brighter future. Your dedication and commitment as a foster parent are invaluable in providing hope and healing to children.
Sharon Bell, MBA is the Child Behavioral Health Manager for the NC Division of Child and Family Wellbeing
