“So how did court go?” I asked our social worker after learning a hearing had been held for a new foster placement that morning.
“Fine,” was the one-word response I received.
It hadn’t gone fine. Major decisions were made without our knowledge, and an untrue accusation was made. It was the one time I missed court.
As resource parents (e.g. foster parents), we often focus on providing a loving home for foster children. But an equally important part of our role is working alongside the professionals who advocate for the child’s best interests in court. Building strong connections with the guardian ad litem (GAL) and caseworkers is crucial, as they often have greater insight into the legal process. The best outcomes for the child come when we operate as a unified team.
Why Relationships Matter
Courtrooms can feel intimidating, especially for resource parents who may not fully understand the legal intricacies. But your presence and input can be vital in shaping the child’s future. It’s not just about showing up; it’s about engaging with those responsible for advocating for the child. These professionals, particularly the GAL, are not adversaries. They share the same goal: securing the best outcome for the child in your care.
The GAL plays a distinct role in the case. While resource parents handle daily care, the GAL gathers information from various sources—social workers, therapists, teachers, and sometimes biological parents—and presents the child’s best interests in court. They often have a wider perspective because they see the case from all angles.
Some resource parents may feel uneasy if the GAL’s recommendations differ from what they believe is best. However, it’s important to recognize that the GAL’s assessments are based on a broader set of information. Building a good rapport with the GAL can bridge gaps in understanding and lead to better teamwork for the child’s benefit.
Practical Tips for Building Strong Relationships
- Communicate Proactively: Don’t wait for court hearings to reach out to the GAL. Keep them updated on the child’s progress, behaviors, and any concerns. This builds trust and ensures they have a complete picture of the child’s needs when making recommendations. Stay informed about upcoming court dates.
- Be Open to Their Perspective: While you know the child’s daily routine best, the GAL may have insights from other sources that shape their recommendations. Be open to discussing these perspectives and ask questions if something is unclear. This fosters collaboration instead of conflict.
- Share Key Insights: As the person who spends the most time with the child, your observations are invaluable. Whether it’s how family visits affect them or milestones they’ve achieved, sharing your insights ensures the GAL has a well-rounded view of the child’s development and challenges.
- Attend Court with a Collaborative Mindset: When you attend court, think of it as a team effort. By being present, you show the court—and everyone involved—that you’re invested in the child’s future. It also provides opportunities to strengthen connections with the GAL and attorneys.
Advocating for the Child in Court
In addition to forming connections outside the courtroom, it’s vital to recognize the significance of your role when attending court. Even when you’re not called to testify, your presence speaks volumes. Judges and attorneys notice resource parents who consistently show up and engage.
Court can be inconvenient, especially for working parents. Hearings often occur at difficult times and may be rescheduled at the last minute. I’ve faced many frustrating moments sitting in court or traveling to the courthouse only to find out the case wouldn’t be heard. Despite these challenges, attending court is essential. It’s one of the few times you can hear discussions about the child’s case firsthand, and your presence shows commitment.
For children over 12, your support becomes even more important. Older children have the right to attend court and can feel overwhelmed by the process. By being there, you provide emotional stability, showing the child—and the court—that you’re part of their team. When my now sixteen-year-old attended court for the first time, the GAL and their attorney ensured she was comfortable, explaining the process clearly. This support was key in helping her advocate for herself.
Working Toward the Same Goal
Ultimately, everyone involved in a foster child’s case, from the GAL to the judge, should be working toward the same goal: achieving the best possible outcome for the child. Whether that means reunification, kinship placement, guardianship, or adoption, the process requires collaboration. By cultivating strong professional connections with those advocating for the child, you ensure your voice and the child’s needs are heard. The stronger your partnerships, the more effective your advocacy will be.
In my experience, collaborating with the GAL has been invaluable. Whether facilitating our oldest son’s transfer from another state, ensuring our foster daughter’s college tuition was covered, or helping us secure guardianship of our youngest daughter, these critical outcomes were achieved through teamwork. The GAL played a pivotal role in these cases, demonstrating the value of effective partnerships.
As resource parents, we are not just caregivers—we are advocates. By fostering strong ties with professionals in the courtroom, we can ensure that every child in our care has the best chance for a bright future.
Venus Bradley is a resource parent licensed through Durham County DSS. She and her husband have been fostering for 8 years and have adopted three now adults and have guardianship of one.
