By Genia Newkirk
Before writing this article, I had to take a huge pause, a deep breath, and totally relax my body to ensure that I capture the essence of this topic while using an economy of words to give it the justice it deserves.
My journey as a kinship caregiver began a little over five years ago, when my niece was five years old. Let’s just say I was older and with an adult son who as I say, “was grown, and gone.”
Knowing my niece was in foster care caused me to go into immediate rescue mode, without pausing to process the realities involved with becoming a kinship caregiver. I didn’t think much about childhood trauma, the legal system, parental/sibling bonds, and so much more.
Because of the unknown components of kinship care it’s vital that kinship caregivers advocate for themselves in a manner that brings balance to you as the caregiver, the child(ren), and the biological parents.
How do we do this? We do this first by acknowledging the journey isn’t an easy road to travel alone. We need to connect with support groups in our communities. We need to give voice and action to what our needs are as it relates to making sure we’re attending to the best interest of the child.
It goes without saying that kinship caregivers sacrifice on so many levels to ensure we can care for the whole child. One aspect of that is ensuring that familial bonds are maintained and sustained. This can be a difficult task, and lead to emotional, mental, and physical breakdowns. As a result, we must be self-aware, and purposefully care for ourselves in ways that bring a restoration and energy to continue providing the care that our children deserve. Do not neglect attending to your needs. Seek out areas to provide respite for yourself (there is a reason why we’re told on flights to put our oxygen masks on first).
Lessons Learned: As mentioned earlier, it is necessary to have balance as we continue to journey the path of kinship caregiving. I am learning the importance of cultivating the bond that exists between the child and the parent, and in some cases bridging the gaps that exist in that bond. No matter the passion, and/or bond that we have as a kinship caregiver, we are not the biological parents, and all efforts should be explored to maintain the bond shared with the biological parents. Allowing the child to explore their relationship with their biological parent is essential in working towards positive outcomes for everyone involved.
In closing, I have learned that being a kinship caregiver is an A.R.T. We are positioned to bring forth bountiful Achievements in the lives of children despite Adversity. We are not simply to provide a roof, but to provide a Root that will absorb all the nurture and love we must give and sprout forth as an amazing human being. Lastly, make no mistake, this is a tough road to journey. One filled with potholes, speed bumps, and road hazards. Just know Together on the same team, we can overcome every challenge, or obstacle that we face.
Genia Newkirk is a Kinship Caregiver in North Carolina
